Sunday, February 12, 2012

Without Grumbling...

Some days I like to blog because something amazing has happened, or I had a cool insight... just for fun or something insightful God is teaching me. Today I am blogging to remind myself of whats really important and to remember that its NOT about me...

Ryan and I moved to our new city and we are TOTALLY in LOVE! Its such a great place to find just about anything, and there is no lack of people anywhere you go! We found a great little place on the 4th floor of a 16 floor apartment building. It is on a cute little street that is walking distance from a few malls and outdoor markets. These last few weeks have been filled with goodbye's of our friends in our city where we have been learning language... and then figuring out a whole new city. Most of the exploring has been on our own since we know the language well and can find our way around without help. We have really enjoyed being with each other and shopping for all the things to fill our house with together. We have also enjoyed the times that we have gotten to spend with out teammates in the city as well.

This week we have spent lots of time waiting around trying to get our house set up. I really dislike waiting... so does Ryan, but we do what we have to do. Several days he has had to just stay home waiting on a delivery of a fridge or couch, or for the internet guys to come set up our connection. Our kitchen had no cabinet or anything when we moved in, so our landlord said he would get them put in for us. I understood that they were going to make them be pretty awesome like some I saw in the stores or other peoples homes. We have waiting all week, not putting anything out in the kitchen yet (which has been hard for me!) and when they started putting in the cabinets, it was all I could do to not cry in disappointment. The workers were supposed to do all the work and just install them in a few hours. But these guys have been here for two days, coming in around 10am and staying until 10pm (with a lunch and nap break). It has made it hard on us. We cannot both go out and leave them here working, so Ryan has let me go out some and get some groceries. But in spite of the cabinets not being what I hoped, they will work... I just keep reminding myself that it is not about a kitchen being set up perfect or a house that has everything just right.... its about serving our King. We really love our house, but when you can't set anything up yet, it is hard. Everything is covered in concrete dust from the installation of the cabinets and the bed for our room and our dining room table is not being delivered until the end of the month. It really is not the big things that knock you down, it is the little things... the things that just don't work like you think that they should that make you get frustrated and upset. So I have been fighting the frustration and anxiety all weekend. I should be excited that I get any cabinets at all! My kitchen that is far less modern than I expected, but it will work... I want it to be used for the glory of God, and really the most important part is serving HIM, not how cool everything works. Ryan and I were reading this morning and talking through Philippians 2:1-18. The part that really struck me was about no grumbling. This is hard. In a culture where things do not work like you plan, or even the way or the time they tell you, but the Word says, "No grumbling." If we do this, we will shine as lights in a dark world. And our world sure is dark and in desperate need of the LIGHT. Verse 17, "even if I am poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice of service... I rejoice." I think I feel the strain of being poured out like a drink offering... but we are told to rejoice. I then looked back up to verse 13, "It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good pleasure." As I help a cup of coffee in my hand, it hit me. ... I get used, poured out... and then it is GOD who works IN ME. He refills me anytime I ask him to! He pours His goodness and grace into me so I can share that with others. I have been filled with HIS spirit... and I have a choice. I can choose to keep it all to myself, and sit there, full. OR I can let Him pour me out for HIS glory and let HIS goodness not stay in one place. Today I felt like I was poured out and empty. And He gently reminded me that I need to stay in HIS presence so he can constantly keep me filled. Instead of becoming lukewarm coffee on the counter, I have the giver of all Life who refills my cup everyday... and not just filled, but OVERFLOWING! (Psalm 23:5)

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