Friday, July 5, 2013

deep love, pure joy

love. deep love. this is what I feel like the Lord has been wanting to teach me lately. The deep, unfathomable love of our Father is overwhelming to me. I feel like the past months have just been full of God moments and stories. I go into my boys rooms at night and watch them breath so sweetly and I cannot believe that I get to be their momma. I see my friends here start to follow our Lord more intently, and I just know its the deep love of our Father that is drawing them closer to him. I realize that even when I am totally undeserving and inadequate, He still loves me with this deep love. 

So one of Josiah's aunties was holding him, and I could just see the love he has in him, and I said, "that little boy loves deeply." He does. Just like he was created to do. He loves with passion and intensity. He grabs my hair and pulls my face to his and kisses my nose. He grips your hips with his legs as you walk with him, and he wraps his arms around your shoulders and holds on so tightly. His favorite cuddle spot is cheek to cheek as one hand has two fingers in his mouth and the other one is wrapped around your head. He loves his brother with fierceness that I can only imagine will grow as they get older. (some times it is more fierce than brother would like!) The minute I check on him in the morning or after naps, he is reaching out and his eyes dance with delight and when i pick him up, he hugs so tightly and kisses my cheeks. I love this kid so much and I know that God has placed this strong and intense love in this little guy (along with a strong will.) I am thankful to learn more about the deep love the Lord planted in his heart and to let the same love go deep in my heart and pour out to those around me as well. 

also joy. pure joy. I want to find a way to sing even when things are not perfect. I want to rejoice in all circumstances and delight in the Lord the way that I know He delights in me. Pure joy comes when I view my mom role as a gift and not a chore. I should not dread the endless loads of laundry, but I see the excitement of the boys "helping" me fold all the clean clothes. I should remember the joy of cooking from scratch and not bemoan how nothing is one step here in South Asia. I should delight in picking up the toys for the 8th time today and be thankful that I have been given such active and fun boys to raise. I just see their little faces and my heart is filled to BURSTING with JOY over their existence and I long for them to know the Love of their LORD whose joy is way deeper and love far more fierce than anything I could ever show to them.

Daniel is full of pure joy... his way to show love is to just sit with you and make you laugh. He already knows how to entertain and if it makes someone laugh, he will do it over and over. His heart is full of pure joy and he spends every waking moment smiling or laughing! He not only entertains us , but he also seems to entertain himself and "talks" alot while he reads a book by himself or plays with cars. We say he is learning to preach a sermon because he uses inflection in his little monologues and his volume increases in intensity. I see the Joy of the Lord in his heart and reflected in his beautiful dimples and sparkly eyes. I want to learn how to see the joy in the little things again just as Daniel finds joy in a paper towel roll "trumpet".

I just LOVE to watch them LOVE.