I thought I would be better at this whole life thing by this point in my life. I thought I would simply be super mom with the perfect pinterest crafts all over the house and healthy meals that look as good as they taste. I would have kids that love to listen to momma so much that they never disobey and constantly play well together... and I would always start my day out right with time in the word, coffee, and then a workout... and my days would be filled with music and laughter. (It actually makes me laugh out loud that I actually thought these things!)
Yes, I am an idealist.
Yes, I do easily get disappointed.
And Yes, I cannot live up to my own expectations of what my life "should" be like.
Real life includes more dishes than I care to wash, more messes on the floor, and pinterest crafts are not only hard to do with overseas substitutes, but they just make a mess. Foods do not ever seem to look like the bloggers photographs and sometimes they are more than just not pretty, they totally flop! My kids are learning to obey, but they have the same sinful heart like I do and they show their true colors through selfish attitudes, fits of anger, hitting each other or falling in a heap on the floor when they don't get what they want... Not at ALL how I imagined kids I would raise would act like. I have babysat since I was 12 and I always seemed to find a way to make the kids behave (now I know they usually act sweet for sitters and save all the attitude for momma) I worked at a preschool and thought I would have craft time everyday when I had my own littles. At this point, if I turn my back, they write on the walls or floor and or eat the playdough, so craft time is limited to only when I can give them 100% of my attention.
its not all bad. My house is not ready for a "Tour of Homes" (nor will it ever be!) and our apartment is small, but it means it does not take that long to clean. The boys are taking morning naps again since the summer rains started and it gives me time to write and think and try a new recipe for lunch. I just lower my expectations of myself. With two year old twins, I cannot do as much as I plan or desire to do. I am putting things in order of priority, with my relationship with the Lord first and being committed to not only abiding with him, but sharing Him with others around me. Encouraging the believers in my area to KNOW Him more and share His love with those around them... then later in the list comes my craft projects and house. I have to feed the family, but it does not have to be perfect. I have extremely forgiving eaters in the house. All the boys eat pretty much whatever I cook and they seem to enjoy it! gotta love that! Ryan does not complain if I am too tired to clean the floor, and usually he gets out the broom and sweeps up the mess.
And our days are filled with music and laughter. It might be "Let it Go" for the 5th time, but the boys are singing at the top of their lungs... and we laugh ALOT! Both boys are such little entertainers who make us all laugh and they are really ticklish and their giggles can make the most stoic person chuckle! My purpose in life is not to have a perfect house, fancy dinners, or spotless house; its to make the most of every opportunity and pour myself out in sacrifice for my King and those around me. It is a sacrifice for me to mop up another milk spill or an entire box of cereal, but I do it because I LOVE the Lord and I love my family. It is a sacrifice to go out and share with my neighbor the good news, and even if I am rejected, I continue to show love because I LOVE my King and he is worth more than my status in my building. I sacrifice to put the Lord first in the morning because I know if I don't, its not going to happen uninterrupted for the rest of the day. And I sacrifice to not write a blog or check facebook because my boys need my attention.
Yes, I am still an idealist, but with a real IDEAL of what He says is best in life.
Yes, I do expect that today will be a great day!
And Yes, I will try to live strengthened through HIS power today.
Yes, I am an idealist.
Yes, I do easily get disappointed.
And Yes, I cannot live up to my own expectations of what my life "should" be like.
Real life includes more dishes than I care to wash, more messes on the floor, and pinterest crafts are not only hard to do with overseas substitutes, but they just make a mess. Foods do not ever seem to look like the bloggers photographs and sometimes they are more than just not pretty, they totally flop! My kids are learning to obey, but they have the same sinful heart like I do and they show their true colors through selfish attitudes, fits of anger, hitting each other or falling in a heap on the floor when they don't get what they want... Not at ALL how I imagined kids I would raise would act like. I have babysat since I was 12 and I always seemed to find a way to make the kids behave (now I know they usually act sweet for sitters and save all the attitude for momma) I worked at a preschool and thought I would have craft time everyday when I had my own littles. At this point, if I turn my back, they write on the walls or floor and or eat the playdough, so craft time is limited to only when I can give them 100% of my attention.
its not all bad. My house is not ready for a "Tour of Homes" (nor will it ever be!) and our apartment is small, but it means it does not take that long to clean. The boys are taking morning naps again since the summer rains started and it gives me time to write and think and try a new recipe for lunch. I just lower my expectations of myself. With two year old twins, I cannot do as much as I plan or desire to do. I am putting things in order of priority, with my relationship with the Lord first and being committed to not only abiding with him, but sharing Him with others around me. Encouraging the believers in my area to KNOW Him more and share His love with those around them... then later in the list comes my craft projects and house. I have to feed the family, but it does not have to be perfect. I have extremely forgiving eaters in the house. All the boys eat pretty much whatever I cook and they seem to enjoy it! gotta love that! Ryan does not complain if I am too tired to clean the floor, and usually he gets out the broom and sweeps up the mess.
And our days are filled with music and laughter. It might be "Let it Go" for the 5th time, but the boys are singing at the top of their lungs... and we laugh ALOT! Both boys are such little entertainers who make us all laugh and they are really ticklish and their giggles can make the most stoic person chuckle! My purpose in life is not to have a perfect house, fancy dinners, or spotless house; its to make the most of every opportunity and pour myself out in sacrifice for my King and those around me. It is a sacrifice for me to mop up another milk spill or an entire box of cereal, but I do it because I LOVE the Lord and I love my family. It is a sacrifice to go out and share with my neighbor the good news, and even if I am rejected, I continue to show love because I LOVE my King and he is worth more than my status in my building. I sacrifice to put the Lord first in the morning because I know if I don't, its not going to happen uninterrupted for the rest of the day. And I sacrifice to not write a blog or check facebook because my boys need my attention.
Yes, I am still an idealist, but with a real IDEAL of what He says is best in life.
Yes, I do expect that today will be a great day!
And Yes, I will try to live strengthened through HIS power today.
