Sunday, January 19, 2014

Blessings...

This blog is a prequal to the boys ONE YEAR HOME (aka Gotcha day! which is Jan. 22nd)... that blog will come soon, with a video, but this blog is just today... in this moment. Sitting here with the most amazing homemade sea salt caramel latte, halfway watching Enchanted on TV while all three of my boys catch a Sunday afternoon nap, and I am overwhelmed with the blessings in my life. The sermon this morning was about "the good, the better and the blessed" He spoke on how many times we work for the better things in life, but miss out on the BEST things which are the blessings of the Lord. I know for us, the best thing that happened in our marriage is not being able to have a child naturally. I for sure did not see this as a real blessing, even though I did try. The song "Blessings" by Laura Story was the motto that kept me sane. "What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise." I still sometimes wish it was not our lot in life, but I would not change the past years with Ryan and all the lessons we have learned for anything in the world. The two precious littles sleeping in the next room are by far some of the most precious blessings I have ever been blessed with! The road to bring them home was not easy, but worth every tear and bit of paperwork. The boys are not perfect, but totally the most amazing fit for our family and those little smiles can melt ANYONE'S heart! I love listening to them laugh, and start playing well together... watching them share their toys and learn to make all the animal noises. Teaching them to obey has been a humbling experience and somehow seeing their little foot stomps in anger reminds me of how often I have stomped my foot at the almighty asking for something better or a different lot in life- thinking that I am deserving of the best things, which would be in my definition of best. Everytime, I have been astounded by His patience with this disobedient child and He longs to teach us all to trust him and his plans for us, which after experiences with him, we know are way better than our own ideas of good. I desire to teach my boys to be men of faith who trust in the unseen to do more than we could ever imagine. I want them to be men of truth that will stand for what is right, to defend the cause of the fatherless and strive for justice in the ways that please the Lord. I want them to be a light for the nations and that they will desire that all men know the truth. I pray that they give Him control of their days so they can make His name famous. I want to teach them to praise the Lord and to love to be in his presence. They love praise music and will dance to it for hours (no joke. Its in their blood) and I am excited for the days we will get to talk about the Lord and his truth and hear their simple questions of child like faith and gently guide them to Jesus.

This morning as they both stood hugging my legs, I touched their their little heads and rubbed my fingers through their tight little curls. They are a head taller than my knees and all of a sudden I realized one day they will be taller than me and I was overwhelmed. I will not be able to hold them close like they need me to now, and they will not need to be fed and cared for in such a hands on fashion. So I will cherish those moments when they do need me, even though it is exhausting... I admit its hard work. Kids require so much effort... twins are double lots of times.... and I sometimes wish that it was not always me that they run to when they are upset. They love their daddy, but most of the time, at least when they need something, its Momma they call for. oh but I love it. They need momma to cuddle with when they are scared, or hurt, or overwhelmed. Its past my understanding to be able to hold and kiss the forehead one of the blessings of the Lord in my life. And as I hear them starting up get up from their nap, I am thankful even more for the Lord who put them in my life and for whom I serve and live for.

on a not so deep note, I just got them up, enjoyed sweet wake up kisses, and started to put away the laundry... then i heard the sound of running water. never good with two almost 2 year olds. Lemonade all over the coffee table. such is life with two little helpers!

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