Sunday, December 1, 2013

Being Their Momma

Being a mom has been one of the most amazing, challenging, and rewarding things I have ever done. Raising twin boys is seriously crazy, but every moment with them is filled with excitement, noise, food, trucks, slides, giggles... such a huge blessing. and every morning as they wake up, I watch in wonder as they grasp me around the neck and hold me tight. They call me momma! ME! I have wanted to be a momma for my whole life, even though I did not know what it would look like or what it would involve.

As I sit with food crusting on the high chair, and toys scattered on the floor, I laugh in my heart with the joy that they bring. Along with the messes come sweet indescribable moments filled with the intimate love that only a momma and her babies have. Sons are truly an inheritance from God, and I can't be more in love with HIM for giving them to our family... or with them... those little sweeties (who sometimes masquerade as a destruction duo!!) I don't know what it feels like to birth a child and to have them look up at you with your eyes or smile, but these Ethiopians could not be any more perfect for our family.

I will never get tired of being called their momma. The feeling that overcomes my whole being and I am simply in AWE of the creator that he saw fit to create them for us and to place in our family tree a graft from a whole other culture and country to be called "Rainbolts". Wow. And they want me to BE their momma! That blows my mind too! They are still pretty little, but they are intimately attached to me and Ryan and when I hear them say, "momma.... dada" I fall in love all over again! I assume any loving mother feels this way about their children, but I just find it to be even more divine when you find this type deep love and joy when there is no genetics or biological ties. They could not be more loved if they were biological... and I do still cringe a little when people ask, "Are they really your children?" YES. Instead of being annoyed that not everyone can understand the mystery of adoption or the love that a momma has for her babies (yes, sometimes Momma Bear comes out and wants to lash out when someone makes a comment about the color of their skin, or if I ever want "my own" children) but I need to use these opportunities to share about the adoption we have in Christ and how he loved us when we were most unlovable. The picture of the gospel that God has written on the faces of my little boys is precious. They are not perfect. I am far from perfect. But He is always perfect. And He chooses the little children to led us to truth. the simple things to confound the wise.  In their eyes, people see true Joy and the love of the creator who did not leave them as orphans, but HE came for them and rescued them. As a loving Father, He has cherished them and placed the lonely in families.

Seriously, I just marvel at the goodness of the Lord to put them in our lives and to not only grow and change them right before my eyes, but he grows and changes me in the process. I am still far too selfish and I like things my way and I need ME time, but overwhelmingly the day is now not build around me or what I want to do, but around how we can serve others, to help the boys grow and learn, and most importantly around HIM and what HE wants us to do. What an amazing God we serve that He gives us far more than we deserve. And in His strength we press on to know Him more and share His fame around the world. and I will cherish every laugh, every smile... and even say thanks to Him for the dirty floors and scattered trucks and teddy bears.

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