hope

I had grand ideals of writing this blog last week (I thought I had HOPE all figured out), but life and moving and driving across the country got in the way! Well, as the past few days transpired, I realized why I had not written this yet... I really have not figured out what hope is, and I really have so much more to learn and so many more days of waiting than I would have "hoped" for....  So, what is hope anyway? We often think of hope as the possibility of a certain outcome, or hope in a person to come through. I have hope that Ryan and I will get to South Asia safely and that things will come together for us there... hope that our family will grow... hope that the friends I have shared Chr'ist with over the past year will come to fa'ith. I feel like the things I have hope in are justifiable... I don't think they are worldly, or anything that is contrary to Scr'ipture or the heart of G'od. But just because we Hope for something that COULD glor'ify G'od it does not mean that it will be what brings the MOST glory, or be the way that G'od chooses to use us. As certain things have not worked the way i planned, i sit with my coffee with tears streaming asking why G'od is not giving me what I HOPE for, I realized that I can't hope in an outcome, but ONLY hope in the Lord. Not in the things that i dream would bring people to Him, or of the things that would help me to serve him better, or what i always imagined my life would look like, but only in the Lord. How do you put your hope in the Lord and not in the things that He does? I realize that I have no idea. I thought I had it figured out. wow. Sometimes we get so short sided, imagining that we have a broad view. I don't know what to do, but I know the one who does, so I will just sit and spend some time with Him and I have full confidence that he will tell me how to live it one day at a time. 
Psalm 17:13-15 "Arise, O LORD! Confront him, subdue him! Deliver my soul from the wicked by your sword, from men by your hand, O LORD, from men of the world whose portion is in this life. You fill their womb with treasure; they are satisfied with children, and they leave their abundance to their infants. As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness when I awake, I shall be satisfied with seeing your likeness."